side rant

woke up at   9:45 am and stayed in bed until 11-12ish that's when i got up to make something to eat , i had made cheddar cheese ramen with shrimp and bits of kimchi  it was good tho it nearly killed me lol. Then after eating i started to clean up a bit around the living room , mom came home at 3;19 and we had a short chat before i went back up to my room to charge my phone  then after it was full i got dressed , said bye , and locked the door before walking to the library which I'm here now:)  .now I'm here again writing this , it's hotter than last time i was here then again i don't check the weather like i\m supposed to . like last time after i leave here I'm going to the gas station for snacks ,  i only go after  because the  library doesn't  allow food or drinks which.. duh obviously  , i thought about going beforehand and just keeping it in my bag but   i don't want  I  anything to get smashed or get warm while I'm here  ,  I want everything to still be cold . yesterday i was  asked  about doing photography as a job bc of my  camera , i told my ma although i like  taking pictures and just photography in general... i don't think i like it  enough to have  it to be my career there's a lot of stuff i like that she's suggested that I should turn into a career and  I don't disagree with her  it's  just i  don't  think I'd be  good at them especially with  MY anxiety and constantly  freezing up once i have to talk to people . prime example: streaming or doing youtube , But  she keeps pushing and i keep telling her i can't , bc Imo i don't think i have what it  takes to keep people entertained and engaged nor do i think i have the personality. im not funny nor do i have things to show off , the most i have is like memorabilia from my last schools i went to and my mothers cd's